1) Eve disobeyed God’s command having eaten an apple from the Tree of Knowledge, thereby condemning all future generations of women to suffer pain in childbirth.
False.
Ok, this was a trick question. Although Eve holding a half-eaten apple is depicted in countless paintings throughout history, the Bible does not use the word apple, only that Eve took the forbidden fruit from the tree.
Apple. Fruit. Who cares? What matters is how the male Bronze Age authors of Genesis set up a woman to be the the source of “original sin”; to be the temptress, the inferior, weaker sex; the second class gender forever to be chattel of men; and by Paul, a wife commanded to be submissive to her husband. With God on their side, to this day misogyny persists around the globe in societies practicing orthodox versions of the three Abrahamic religions.
2) Characters in the Old Testament have assigned God different names. However, the Lord spoke telling us exactly what His true name is:
A. Jealous.
The Israelites referred to God as “Elohim”, or "gods" in the plural, or as the unnamable, unpronounceable “YHWH” (Yahweh), or in the Latinized version “Jehovah”. However, in Exodus 34:14 and several other books of the Old Testament, God Himself states that his name is actually “Jealous”. This is further supported by the first four of the Ten Commandments which are all about him.
Isn’t jealousy a human weakness unbecoming the Creator of the Universe?
3) Who wrote “The Lord helps those who help themselves.”
E. Benjamin Franklin.
Although Jim and Tammy Bakker certainly “helped themselves” to their credulous congregation’s contributions, this platitude is actually attributed to that feisty founding father, Benjamin Franklin, as evidenced in an article appearing in his Poor Richard’s Almanac.
Ironically, Franklin was a critic of religion and, like most of our Founding Fathers including Thomas Paine and Thomas Jefferson, was a deist at the most, believing only in the the vague concept of an ethereal supreme being, not the Judeo-Christian God of Abraham who purportedly takes an interest in our personal affairs, like deciding the outcome of football games.
Franklin may have borrowed the saying from Aesop’s Fables appearing in the tale of Hercules and the Waggoner, except the “god” appearing in this story is the pagan god, Hercules. Ah, the subtle irony.
4) One of the core tenets of Christianity is the concept of forgiveness. Jesus said there is no sin so terrible which He could not forgive, thus proving His unconditional love.
False.
Mmm...not so much. In Luke 12:10 Jesus explicitly states that there is at least one condition for his love; one sin that he cannot, will not forgive under any circumstances.
What is this most abhorrent sin, so heinous, so terrible that even the gentle, loving Jesus cannot bring Himself to ever forgive? Is it murder? Child rape?
No, it is the most egregious sin of all: “blasphemy against the Holy Spirit”. Oh My Goodness! And once committed, this sin can never be undone and dooms the sinner immediately to everlasting hellfire.
Just prior to his execution, Jeffrey Dahmer, a serial killer who hacked to pieces and ate his victims’ body parts, repented and accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior in prison, will therefore, according to scripture, share eternal bliss in Heaven, presumably with some of his victims. At least he did not blaspheme! That would have been unforgivable.
So much for unconditional love, eh?
5) Which book of The Bible contains erotically-charged poetry which, if found anywhere outside the Bible, Christians would label as ‘soft porn’?
D. Song of Songs
Don’t feel bad if you got this one wrong. You are in good company. Like me, you do not remember ever reading the Song of Songs (aka Song of Solomon) in Sunday school. If I had, believe me, I would remember! And you have probably never heard a single sermon or quote from this book...well...unless you belong to a Christian sex cult such as the Children of God.
So how did this book containing some of the most beautiful ancient Mesopotamian poetry celebrating sex for pleasure make it into the Holy Bible; the same Bible held up by puritanical Christians and Jews as the supremely objective guide to morality? Oops! And what bizarre mental contortions do today’s pious pulpit-pounders and apologists go through to reinterpret its contents for their flocks?
That is a whole other story!
6) According to the Bible, who created evil?
D. God.
"I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things." (Isaiah 45:7)
Yup, now you know who is really to blame. And why did God create evil? According to the late George Carlin, “Because he loves you!”
7) What Christmas tradition is forbidden in the Bible?
D. Christmas Tree.
Sorry, but that universal symbol celebrating our favorite season is a big ‘no-no’ in the Lord’s eyes. Christianity has incorporated many pagan symbols, traditions and dates into its own traditions, most notably Christmas (Winter Solstice) and Easter (Eostre) presumably to make the transition from paganism to Christianity easier for non-believers, although the pagan symbolism was expected to be phased out at some point. Oops.
"Thus saith the Lord, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: For one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not. . . . They are altogether brutish and foolish." (Jeremiah 10:2-8)
8) The teachings of Paul, the de facto founder of Christianity, accurately reflect the teachings of the living Jesus. That is why Christians use the letters of Paul to support their beliefs.
False.
Although most Christians believe that Paul’s teachings accurately reflect those of Jesus, nothing could be further from the truth. Many teachings of Paul directly conflicted with those of Jesus and the Jerusalem church headed by Peter and James, the Apostles who actually walked with Jesus and were appointed by him to carry on his ministry.
Paul never met the physical Jesus, never walked with Jesus, never spoke with Jesus, so none of his accounts are eyewitness testimony, only dreams.
Paul despised, criticized and discounted the Jerusalem church, targeting James and Peter as "false Apostles" and "deceitful workmen".
All attempts to harmonize the church in Jerusalem with Paul's teachings failed. But in the end, Paul's version won out and is what most Christians practice today.
9) What is the tenth commandment of the real Ten Commandments?
A. Do not boil a baby goat in his mother's milk.
The original set of commandments are listed in Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5. What most Christians do not know is Moses smashed the original set when he saw the people dancing naked around Aaron's golden calf. So God had Moses trudge up Mount Sinai again to get a replacement set–the real set, the one and only set that God himself actually labeled as the “Ten Commandments”. (Exodus 34:28)
I ask you, is this really the tenth most important, tenth most profound, tenth most moral command the Creator of the Universe could come up with? Really?
10) Which of these phrases is NOT found in biblical text?
A. "Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime."
Biblical literacy surveys find most Christians mistakenly believe this idiom is a Bible verse. It is actually attributed to Lao Tzu (@571 BCE) Chinese philosopher and founder of Taoism.
As outrageous as they may seem, all the other statements and claims are indeed found in The Bible!
12) Jesus is often depicted in paintings with long hair. However, the Bible denounces long hair on men as a “shame, a dishonor, a disgrace”.
True.
In his first letter to the church in Corinth, Paul admonishes, “Isn’t it obvious that it’s disgraceful for a man to have long hair?”
Did Paul simply not notice Jesus’ long locks and beard during his vision on the road to Damascus? Perhaps Jesus cut his hair after ascending into Heaven and for two thousand years artists got it wrong? Another one of those inconvenient passages.