“I don't like to have to ask for forgiveness. And I am good. I don’t do a lot of things that are bad. I try to do nothing that is bad.”
Donald J. Trump, adjudicated rapist, 4-time indicted, convicted felon. From an interview with CNN's Jake Tapper, January 2016.
“Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble, when you’re perfect in every way!”
~Song by Mac Davis
“We are going to put on the armor of God. Then maybe strap on a Glock.“
Kari Lake, former news anchor and failed candidate for Arizona governor, referring to the upcoming 2024 U.S. presidential election between Trump and Biden. Is that what Jesus would do?
“The church is supposed to direct the government. The government is not supposed to direct the church. And I’m tired of this separation of church and state junk.“
Lauren “Feel Me Up” Boebert, U.S. Congressional Representative, during a speech at the Cornerstone Christian Center, Basalt, Colorado, June 2022. Apparently she forgot to read Thomas Jefferson’s Virginia Statute For Religious Freedom.
“We tolerate no one in our ranks who attacks the ideas of Christianity. Our movement is Christian.”
Adolf Hitler, from a speech in Passau, Germany, October 1928.
“And angels have even been dispatched from Africa right now… they are coming here… In the name of Jesus… They’re coming here from South America…Pika hata anda or-a ata ora bata rata ende eke… for I hear the sound of victory.”
Paula White, crackpot MAGA church preacher and spiritual advisor to former President Trump, “speaking in tongues“ while predicting Trump’s second win in the 2020 presidential race. Oops. God didn‘t get her memo.
“You cannot call yourself a Christian and call yourself a [Democrat] and vote for Biden! You are implementing the dark agenda. Satan’s agenda.”
Mark Taylor, a true Christian (only Republicans are true Christians), prophet and online influencer. In 2019 he prophesied a second presidential win for Trump and a "red tsunami" at the 2022 midterm elections. Oops.
“Put on the full armor of God. Stand firm against the left’s schemes. You will face flaming arrows, but if you have the shield of faith, you will overcome them…”
Ron DeSantis, Republican Governor of Florida, failed presidential candidate and loving Christian.
“We don’t have to protect the environment, the Second Coming is at hand.”
James Watt, Secretary of the Interior during the Reagan years. He’s dead, thank God!
“I called to buy some meth, but I threw it away.”
Rev. Ted Haggard, disgraced megachurch pastor when details began to emerge about his visits to a male prostitute in 2006. Haggard repented and founded another church in 2010 after a failed stint selling insurance. In 2022 he was accused of using methamphetamine and inappropriate sexual behavior with young men at his church.
“When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell “Stop!” to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind. Then recite a portion of the Bible or sing a hymn.”
The Mormon Guide to Self-Control. Guaranteed results or your money back!
"[Woman] Do not any longer contend for mastery, for power, money, or praise. Be content to be a private, insignificant person, known and loved by God and me….of what importance is your character to mankind, if you was buried just now. Or if you had never lived, what loss would it be to the cause of God."
John Wesley (1703-1791), founder of the Methodist Church, in a letter to his wife. The Meth-o-dissed Church is experiencing a steady and dramatic decline in membership. Pray that the trend continues!
“The right of holding slaves is clearly established in the Holy Scriptures, both by precept and example.”
Richard Furman (1755-1825) Prominent Baptist Church Leader, South Carolina. Sadly, he had God (and Jesus) on his side.
"[For women] the very consciousness of their own nature must evoke feelings of shame."
Saint Clement of Alexandria, Christian theologian (c150-215).
“Sex education classes in our public schools are promoting incest.”
Jimmy Swaggart, pious prig Pentecostal preacher and TV scamvangelist. This was before he was caught with a New Orleans hooker. Slobbering on TV, he repented to his congregation... until he was caught once again with his pants down. But that did not stop his television ministry, which continues to this day.
"The Lord told me it's flat none of your business!"
Jimmy Swaggart, speaking defiantly to his congregation the second time he was caught with a hooker. Well, the Lord has spoken to Jimmy. Can't argue with that.
"Woman is a temple built over a sewer."
Tertullian (160-220), prolific Christian apologist and a polemicist against heresy. Spoken like a good Christian!
"[Hurricane] Katrina was God's punishment for homosexuality."
Jerry Falwell (1933-2007), Baptist pastor, tubby televangelist, and founder of Liberty University. He’s dead, but now his cuckold son and his cougar wife are embroiled in a kinky menage á trois sex scandal with a “cabana boy”.
"I don’t know that atheists should be considered citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God.”
George H. W. Bush (1924-2018), 41st President of the United States. Such Christian love!
"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."
Pat Robertson, Christian media mogul, religious broadcaster, political commentator, former presidential candidate, and former Southern Baptist minister
"Can you believe people believe that bullshit?"
Donald Trump (according to Michael Cohen) after a meeting in the oval office with evangelical leaders. For once I agree with him!
They're [Jews] the ones putting out the pornographic stuff. [The Jew’s] stranglehold has got to be broken or the country's going down the drain!”
Rev. Billy Graham, spiritual advisor to presidents, denied ever saying this until the Nixon tapes were made public. He apologized but was allowed to keep his pulpit.
“Do not think that I have come to bring peace on the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.”
Jesus Christ, the alleged Prince of Peace. Read my essay #5-WWJD: Jesus on War and Peace.
"Blessed are those that dash the infants against the rocks!"
The Holy Bible (Psalms 137:9) Lovely. Read my essay Abortion: What Does the Bible Say?
“Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful meal, my two beautiful sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, and my red-hot smokin' wife, Carley.”
Ricky Bobby‘s (Will Ferrell) dinner table prayer in Talledega Nights.
“I am a pastor who has special interest in reasonable and intelligent answers to tough questions about Christianity…So, as a Christian, in principle, if God tells you to kill someone, yes, you should. It’s God.”
Pastor Mike Winger, online influencer, YouTube channel: Learn To Think Biblically with over 500,000 subscribers. Yes, half a million. (His channel should more accurately be named Lurn to Be Stuped.) Compare that with Christopher Langan's YouTube channel, CTMU Radio, with only 14,000 subscribers. Langan is the world's smartest living human with the highest IQ ever recorded.
“Therefore be on your guard against the Jews, knowing that wherever they have their synagogues, nothing is found but a den of devils in which sheer self-glory, conceit, lies, blasphemy, and defaming of God and men are practiced most maliciously and veheming his eyes on them.”
Martin Luther (1483-1546), founder of Protestant movement and Lutheran Church, from his book On the Jews and Their Lies. For more gems from this human excrement, read my essay, Martin Luther: Saint or Sadist?
“Government serves Christ's kingdom rule; this is its purpose.”
Josh Hawley, Republican senator, election denier and supporter of insurrection on January 6, 2020. Such a manly man! Needs to go back and study the Constitution. Has never read Jefferson's The Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom.
“We know that we are in the last of the last days…It's a time to know that you were called to be a part of these last days. You get to have a role in ushering in the second coming of Jesus!”
Lauren Boebert, American politician, businesswoman, and gun rights activist. Republican Party, U.S. representative, Christian dingbat.
“At one time, science said man came from apes. Did it not? If that is true, why are there still apes? Think about it.”
Herschel Walker, former NFL player, failed Republican candidate for senate and intellectual midget. (No offense to little people!)
“The being we knew as L. Ron Hubbard still exists. However, the body he had could no longer serve his purposes. This decision was one made at complete cause by L. Ron Hubbard. Although you may feel grief, understand that he did not and does not now. He has simply moved on to his next step.”
David Miscavage, current "pope" of the Church of Scientology when Hubbard croaked. Official cause of death was stroke. (Hubbard was a severely addicted chain smoker.)
"Only fools say in their hearts, “'There is no God.' They are corrupt, and their actions are evil; not one of them does good!"
King David, Psalms 14:1. Oh my God, I'm such a fool!
"I have no faith. I dare not utter the words and thoughts that crowd my heart, afraid to uncover them because of the blasphemy. If there be God, please forgive me."
Mother Teresa (1910-1977) Celebrated Catholic Saint (and closet atheist), from a letter to her confessor.